The Onion has been on a roll lately. Their latest dose of funny: Pedophile Nervous For First Day Of School.

“And then later that week we could have a sleepover, and we could all watch scary movies, and try out the new camera I just got, and eat pizza until we pass out.”

Woot.com has a Refurb Sandisk Clip 2GB MP3 player for $19.99, today only (Fri 8/29). See the video below for a nice review. Load it up with music from the Amazon MP3 Store — check it out right here on the sidebar to your right.

Want to learn more about CERN’s soon-to-be-operational Large Hadron Collider (LHC), but don’t want to be bothered reading all the scientific mumbo jumbo? Then just watch the Large Hadron Rap!

…arguing a call? Well, check out Angel Valodia Matos of Cuba and his reaction to being disqualified from his Tae Kwon Do match at the 2008 Beijing Olympics. He is, quite simply, an animal, and should be banned from the sport for life.

It’s official. Asians think we all look the same too.

Hilarious video of BBC reporter Steve Parry being mistaken for Olympic legend Michael Phelps in Tiananmen Square, Beijing.
“Steve Parry from Great Britain. Steve Parry from Great Britain.”

I think Johnson & Johnson’s new baby shampoo, Nothing But Tears, is a refreshing change of pace, and may help stem the tide of these spoiled rotten kids.

“You’ll notice a difference after just one use,” said Michelle Baker, head of new product development. “Whether it’s your newborn’s more hardened appearance, the way he now approaches people with guarded skepticism, or just that look on his face that says, ‘Oh wait, maybe life isn’t all hugs and kisses and rainbows. Maybe I need to get my fucking act together.’”

Jack Cafferty ponders John McCain and his similarities to George W. Bush. His conclusion? That McCain is “intellectually shallow”, citing his often terse and bumbling answers to substantive questions.

“I am sick and tired of the president of the United States embarrassing me.“

Here’s a Classic Sean-O Moment^TM, originally posted 2 years ago, on my Birthday…

Since the 2008 Beijing Olympics are in full swing and on everyone’s mind, I thought I’d share my brush with Olympic Greatness.

At the 2004 Special Transplant Olympics in Minnesota, my wife won a Gold Medal in tennis. So rather than skipping out early (as we had done in ‘02), we stuck around for the Closing Ceremonies with a special sense of pride. At these ceremonies, Olympic champions Chris Klug and Carl Lewis were among the speakers.

While my wife would have liked to have met Chris for sure, we did not see him after he left the podium. However, as we were leaving the (kinda lame-o) dance party at the end of the event, I noticed a tall, slender-but-ripped man in a very snug shirt approaching us in the hallway. It was none other than 10-time Olympic medalist Carl Lewis.

He seemed engrossed in conversation with a small entourage. That didn’t bother me one bit. I walked right up to him with a cheery “Hey Carl! How ya doin’?!” I was greeted with a lukewarm response. Still (naturally) undeterred, I motioned to my future sister-in-law Cathlin to get ready for a photo. I turned back and asked Mr. Lewis: “Can I get a picture, Carl?!”

His response?

A stern “Reeeal quick.”

And so it was. I wrapped my arm around his back (probably the most musyular I had ever touched), smiled, and Cat’s quick trigger finger captured the moment! The look on his face says it all — this is truly an athlete who adores his fans.

And one with perhaps the cheesiest. web site. evar. (but it seems like they’re working on it in ’08…)

Ahh, the memories. I remember my Class of 1970 Yearbook, like it was just a few minutes ago. Don’t recall where your memories are stashed? Then just Yearbook Yourself.

UPDATE: The user submissions are starting to come in. Here is “Lindsay”, Class of 1952.

Got a funny pic to share? Post a link in the comments or send it in via electronic mail.

Merlin Mann, a smart & funny guy who has some helpful advice about managing Time & Attention for the fellow Knowledge Workers among us.  The slides are excerpted from a 45-minute presentation, distilled to the major points.

President Bush really enjoys the view, watching Kerri Walsh, a leader of the U.S. Olympic Women’s Beach Volleyball team.

(corrected, thx S.G.G.)

Don’t know who has the time to research, collect and arrange these clips, but the end result is hilarious. You’re about to get Barack Rolled.