She’s a comin’!

Word is today that we may have a little bambino coming next week!  In an effort to optimally balance the health of baby and mother, they think that an induction is likely on the week of the 23rd.

Stay tuned for more details as they become available!  We should know more on Thursday.

Now back to your regularly scheduled horsepuckey…

Psychopath-hunting cops… or starcrossed lovers?!

If you’ve seen the movie Se7en (one of my all-time favorites), with Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman, then you’ll see why this mashup of clips from the film is hilarious.  If you simply know what Se7en is about… then you should still get it.  If not, well reference my headline and read up on it.

“Just because the f—er’s got a library card doesn’t make him Yoda!”

Any song you want to hear… right now

Did you ever hear about a song that
everyone’s been talking about, and wanted to listen to it… but you
don’t want to pay money to buy it on iTunes.  And you certainly
don’t want to go buy a CD…

Enter Radio Blog Club
Just visit the site and punch in an Artist/Song Title, and you’ll
invariably see the song you’re looking for.  Just click on the
name and a little window pops up which lets you listen to the song
instantly!  Very cool.

The emphasis is on current pop/rock/hip hop music, and the sound is (likely purposefully) a bit low-fi… but it’s free, and a great way to satisfy your impulsive aural tendencies 🙂

What’s the 411?

If you’ve ever made a directory assistance call from your cell phone, you know they stick it to you on your bill.  Most providers charge one dollar or more for a simple request.

Well, say hello to free calls to Information.

Add 1-800-FREE-411 (1-800-373-3411) is the number to add to your cell phone contacts.

It’s a free (aside from your plan’s minutes) service that’s sponsored by a brief advertisement you may (or most likely may not) hear during the call.  Well worth it, IMHO.

Thanks for the info, Christie!

CRITICAL Microsoft Update

Windows Update

Microsoft has just released a patch for what may be their biggest vulnerability in its history.  This problem affects every user of every version of Windows.  From the latest Windows 2003 and XP to Windows 3.0!  And infection can happen almost instantaneously — by opening an email attachment containing a .WMF file, visiting one web page with a single WMF file embedded… even having a program like Google Desktop simply indexing a file in the background, without user interaction!

News of the problem surfaced around the holidays.  But it seems Microsoft gave all of their employees the week off.  Nothing was done.  But while they were celebrating, the jerko hackers were at work, and before the end of the year they came up with ways to exploit this problem, and infect your computer.

By the time everyone was back to work on Tuesday, news of the exploit spread like wildfire.  The bad guys had already hacked dozens of sites, and thousands of computers were becoming infected.  Microsoft’s response: “We’re working a patch and will have it ready by Tuesday.”  That’s… next Tuesday – a full week away.

I knew they could not possibly wait that long.  Public outcry was tremendous, and this seemed like a relatively easy fix.  So easy that an independent programmer from Russia made his own (unofficial, naturally) patch on New Year’s!  But Microsoft under-promised and over-delivered — as they had done on previous occasions.  The patch was released late last night.

As I mentioned, this is a serious issue that affects everybody using Windows!!  You need to download this patch immediately.  The easiest way to do so is by visiting Windows Update.  If you’re using Firefox right now (which YOU SHOULD BE!), switch back
to IE to grab this update.  If not, install the patch, come right back
to this site and click the big white button on the right!

I recommend turning Automatic Updates on to automatically download and install important updates to keep your computer safe.

Have a drink on me

Just found a new web site called ExtraTasty that helps you come up with drink recipes, based on the ingredients you specify.  If you register (free & easy), you can enter in all the alcohol you own, and see only drink recipes that use your stock!  Fancy yourself a mixologist?  Then add your recipes to their database.  It’s not nearly as comprehensive as some other sites like DrinksMixer, but I like the clean presentation and some of their AJAXy tricks.

However, no one there seems to know about an old favourite of mine, the Alabama Slammer.

We don’t need no steekin’ commercials

Many of you out there have the great
Motorola DCT6412 cable box from Comcast.  High-Definition,
Dual-Tuner, it doesn’t get much better than this, right?  Well,
actually… it does!

Skipping commercials is a breeze if you have a button on your remote programmed to jump ahead 30 seconds — much easier than fast forwarding.

So how do you do it?

1) Press the “Cable” button at the top of the remote to put it into Cable Box control mode
2) Press and hold the “Setup” button until the “Cable” button blinks twice
3) Type in the code 994. The “Cable” button will blink twice
4) Press (do not hold) the “Setup” button
5) Type in the code 00173 (for 30 second Skip)
6) Press whatever button you want to map the skip or swap function to
(I prefer one of the three multicolored buttons near the top, but you
can use any one you like)

Now give it a try!  Load up anything from your “My DVR” and Quick Skip
away!  Works on shows you’ve recorded, as well as live (delayed)
TV.  It’s amazing how much time this little trick can save, over
the course of year.  Enjoy your new free time!

The top 5 videos of 2005!

Some of them may actually have been recorded in ’04, but came to light this past year.  So now, without further adieu (not that there’s been much adieu at all, but… just play along), I present the TOP 5 VIDEOS of the year!

5. Burger King Ball Thief
LOL!  I thought this guy was an idiot at first, but upon further reflection… I think it might be worth the misdemeanor charge for being able to tell everyone that you stole a football from Brett Favre during an NFL game!!

4. Florida Taser Chick
This would actually be Number 1 if it were the Top Audio clips… simply hilarious!  HANDY TIP: When a cop is pointing at you with a taser asking you to put your cell phone down, your response should not be: “No, I’m callin’ somebody!”

3. Shoo Shoo Retarded Flu
A couple of Howard Stern writers killed with this phony phone call to Whack Packer “Gary the Retard”.  Gary will do anything he can to prevent the evil flu from infecting him over the telephone!  Great animation.

2. Lazy Sunday
Lazy Sunday

An instant classic.  Any skit with white guys rapping about cupcakes, Google Maps and Rachel McAdams is either going to be lame as hell, or hilarious.  This one may have you shooting Mr. Pibb through your nose!  UPDATE: get your very own Chris & Adam bobbleheads on eBay.

and number one…

1. McDonald’s Strip Search!
Simply the most unbelievable story of the year.  It’s impossible to explain, you simply have to watch the video for yourself.  How could a woman be so gullible, a girl so defenseless, a guy so creepy… and what was in it for the caller?!  Who had done this 70 times before!!

Honorable Mention

If this had a companion video, it would surely claim the top spot.  But Pat O’Brien’s (NSFW!) coked up & horny voicemails were still a RIOT!  Pat, you are so… f’in… HOT!!

Worst… Rebate… EVAR!

OK, so I see the very cool Motorola RAZR cell phone — just about the coolest cell phone ever — on for FREE after rebate (with 2-yr agreement, fair enough).

I’m ready to buy, and then decide to just view the rebate first (usually a PDF of a printable form).  To my surprise, this is what I see!!

Rebates have always been a nuisance, but this is simply an insult!

For a limited time, receive this Customer Appreciation when ordering service
on-line from this website, purchasing the selected phone and activating a new
line of service from the currently selected wireless provider. Offer not valid
for pre-paid service. Credit approval and one or two year contract required.
Early termination fee may apply. To qualify and redeem the rebate, and to avoid
an equipment discount charge back of $250, complete and sign the rebate form,
provide copies of your sales receipt, guide to wireless service, a copy of the
UPC from the product packaging, and a copy of a wireless bill for this account
dated between 150 days and 210 days after activation showing the previous
balance paid in full. Claim must be postmarked no earlier than 180 days after
activation and no later than 210 days after activation. Void where prohibited.
Your rebate check will be mailed within 10-12 weeks from receipt of your rebate
submission as described above.

Unless otherwise specified, mail-in rebate form will be included with your
phone shipment. This rebate must be returned and postmarked no earlier than 180
days after activation and no later than 210 days after activation. Please allow
10-12 weeks for processing. If you have any questions or are missing your rebate
form, please visit the Cellular Store Support
page. All equipment serial numbers will be verified as being active on our
system prior to rebate being fulfilled.

Let’s take a minute and break this down to look at some these gems:

“complete and sign the rebate form, provide copies of your sales receipt, guide
to wireless service, a copy of the UPC from the product packaging, and a copy of
a wireless bill for this account”
Is that all?  What exactly is a ‘guide to wireless service’?

“Claim must be postmarked no earlier than 180 days after activation and no later
than 210 days
after activation”
So you have to wait 6 months to file this rebate (having kept all of the above in a safe place), and then you get one month to send it in?!  How generous!

“Your rebate check will be mailed within 10-12 weeks
And then you get to wait another 3 months after that to actually get your money.

“To qualify and redeem the rebate, and to avoid an equipment discount charge back
of $250

Ah yes, the KICKER !!  Not only are they holding your money for ransom, but also threatening to charge YOU $250 if you forget to file a rebate!!!
Absolutely LUDICROUS!!

Needless to say, can stick this rebate. And the nerve they have to call it “Customer Appreciation”?!!