The night has finally arrived. The evening all American Idol fans have been longing for all season. It’s the night… Idol Gives Crap Back.

Yes, folks, get ready to be mildly entertained by the likes of Teri Hatcher and Forest Whitaker. OMG THEY’RE BOTH GOING TO BE ON THE SAME SHOW.

Personally, I don’t know how this guy (see video) didn’t make it to the Top Ten. Diamond Dave FTW!

… it was only a matter of time. Umm, less than 2 days.

PhillyBurbs.com has the David Hernandez male stripper pics.

He actually sounded pretty good, by the bye. Especially for doing a Celine Dion song, for crissake. Still, it’s David Cook — my pick from the beginning — FTW. They could release his(?) version of Hello on iTunes next week and it’d be a hit.

UPDATE: And here it is (iTunes link).

Every year, there’s gotta be a back story about an Idol contestant…

This year, it’s about David Hernandez.  He was allegedly a former stripper at Dick’s Cabaret in Glendale, Arizona. Dick’s Cabaret, as you might infer, has a “mostly male” clientele.  The club’s manager was quoted as saying:

“He had the look and the type that people like, so he made pretty good money here.”

And judging by the photo of Hernandez accompanying my source article… yeah, I could see that.

Well, thankfully the American Idol auditions are over. Once again, there were no Daughtry-esque standouts this season. But we were treated to one truly memorable hometown performance from James Lewis…

Not one to be left out of the American Idol critics’ chairs, Ryan Seacrest gets in on the judging act and analyses this contestant’s “talents.”

via PhillyBurbs

…says PhillyBurbs‘ Dave McGurgan. Yet, it seems he is being paid to watch and review it. Often scathingly.

Here’s a brief interview with Dave on WPHT radio last night: